Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
