sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
