ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
