did you get engaged???
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We have so much sex to catch up on
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
