So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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