you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
