He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
