I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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