the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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