For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
