She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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