chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
did you just send me my own nude
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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