Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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