he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
