He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My hand turned me down
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
