Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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