hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
