margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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