i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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