There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Houston, we have a squirter
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
