"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
People in love make me want to vomit
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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