My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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