I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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