you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
