It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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