my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
