Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I looked at my own cervix.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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