BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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