He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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