so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
