Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This house was built for laser tag.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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