never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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