my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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