I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
