You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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