I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
