Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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