i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
