p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
