He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
