how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
it glows. i had to have it.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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