is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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