I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
