why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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