HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
