I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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