Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
