dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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