so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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