If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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